Start Ya Bastard!
Written by Jai Martinkovits   
Monday, 17 March 2014

Anyone who lives in Sydney's western suburbs will more-than-likely be familiar with the cheekily-named product below.

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Start Ya Bastard has rescued many a lawn mower owner from the frustrations of a difficult-to-start engine.

However, it would seem that inner-city latte-sipping republicans are yet to discover the benefits of this high potency, highly concentrated, highly flamable formulation.

In Republic on the agenda on eve of Royal Visit (SMH, 9 March 2014) , Tim Barless writes:

"With a royal visit next month ... you might think all talk of a republic would be forgotten."

"But the Australian Republican Movement is mobilising the troops and preparing to 'restart the conversation' about Australia becoming a republic."

Hold on a second ... I've heard this before. Republicans have been "restarting" the conversation for years. When will they accept that the people just aren't interested.

From the 1999 landslide, to the downward trend of support over time and across polls since, it is astounding how republicans are simply unwilling to accept the clear will of the people.

Any push for a politicians' republic has clearly "conked out".

And Although Messrs Gallop and Morris will no doubt rush out to invest in a can of Start Ya Bastard, I fear the manufacturers disclaimer may apply. That is "an engine has to be in sound condition and tuned correctly for it to start at all".

Without even so much as a model, republicans remain divided and defeated. There would seem little chance of republicans - certainly in my lifetime - convincing the Australian people of the merits of a politicians' republic.